I think this comment from Bethany B. sums it up quite well.
I would love to hear your thoughts on how wedding expenses impacted you as a guest or a bridesmaid.
. . . . Lena.
' I was in four weddings before I became a bride. Nothing was more disheartening then flushing over $100 down the toilet for a dress I would wear once (let’s face it, nobody is going to take up the dress and wear it again). The last wedding I was in, the bride was gracious enough to allow us to wear dresses we picked out, but finding dresses in the right color scheme was the next challenge… then we we add cost of shower gifts, bachelorette party, getting nails done, etc etc. Wedding are expensive, but they don’t have to be…
I see a huge problem with the way we look at weddings today. We create our “dream” wedding from things we see in bridal magazines and now my love/hate resource, Pinterest. Instead of a wedding being about a blessed covenant of love between a man and a woman, we make it about style (my friend recently bragging about her designer dress which she later regret because it “wasn’t her”), themes, impressing people with your amazing decorations, perfect flowers, fashionable cakes, etc. The best advice I ever read about planning your wedding on a budget was to close the magazines and just have the wedding you want and not what other’s tell you to have.
When it came time for my mom and I to plan my wedding, our theme was simplicity and “beg, steal, borrow”. Our biggest cost were chair/table rentals and food, but we still manage to pull off a +200 guest wedding at our family farm for less than $6,000. We grew our own flowers, used what we had and what we could borrow from friends. We were minimalist in the planning (except for when my mom went crazy with the twinkle lights, but hey, she reused them at Christmas). Looking back at our wedding day, the things that I loved most didn’t have a pricetag, it was my husband and I celebrating our love among our very best friends and family. The most beautiful memory was not the flowers, decorations or fancy cakes…. it was when we congregationally sang a blessing over our marriage… not payed instrumentation, just beautiful, raw, God-given voices raised together in beautiful harmony. Money can’t buy that.
And money certainly can’t buy that happiness I felt on that day because it wasn’t about a certain look or theme. I think that is what makes a Bridezilla too! She has an idea of a wedding she wants and when she can’t have it, no matter how much money she spends, she makes everyone miserable!
And for what? Divorce is so prevalent today! I remember listening to a young woman going on and on about how beautiful and wonderful and perfect every detail of her wedding was. Then I looked at her hands. No wedding band or engagement ring. Then she made a ugly remark about her ex husband and shared her wild plans for her evening at the bar to find a new man. Tragic. Now her $1000 wedding dress that she once treasured is stained with bitterness.'