Vows are your pledge to one another.

Your vows will be one of the most romantic and meaningful speeches you will ever make.

Many celebrants and ministers can help, but more commonly couples are writing their own.

They may add poetry, passages from the Bible or other inspirational sources, making them as unique as the couple.

The heart and soul of your wedding are your vows to each other.

It's important to keep things positive and don't be shy about using your sense of humour.

Many people make photocopies of their vows;  this enables people to read along and gives them a nice souvenir. 

It is traditional for a couple to exchange wedding rings after they say their vows and the words said should reflect yours and your partner's hopes for your marriage and future together.

From the 2016 Fraser Coast Brides & Grooms Wedding Handbook
Email:  editorial@frasercoastchronicle.com.au

It's always special when couples say their vows to each other, without me saying 'please repeat after me'.  I print their individual vows out on cardboard (no flapping in the wind), and hand it to them at the appropriate time.

I have a lapel mic. which can be hidden behind the Groom's tie for you to use if you need it.

I firmly believe that your vows to each other is the most important part of the ceremony.  Here, you can say your special words to each other.
It can be very emotional, as I see them looking into each other's eyes and making their promises to each other and declaring their love for each other until the end of their days.  

A little known fact - If, after the vows have been spoken, a meteor falls on me during the ceremony, you are still legally married.  Even before the official documentation is signed and witnessed.

Do you need help with your vows?  If I can be of assistance, please complete the form on my  'Contact Lena' page.
. . . . Lena.


www.lenaherveybaycelebrant.com

I'm sure you've already been advised to 'slow down', 'take it all in' or words to that effect.
It's not so easy when you have your preparations (make-up, hair, nails), surrounded by chatting bridesmaids, the rush to the ceremony venue, the photos and then the reception.  You will be in a state of heightened excitement, you have all your guests to greet, food and music to organise and so much other stuff competing for your attention.  You're in a state of non-stop stimulus and your brain doesn't get time to file away any moments for you to remember.
You must step away for a moment or two to give your mind a chance to imprint precious memories.
Here are a few ideas to help you with that.

Snack Time
If you have organised an emergency kit for the day, include some snacks.  When you're getting ready, find a corner, sit quietly by yourself and eat some food - collect your thoughts and take in the scene.

Pre-Ceremony Solitude
Depending on your venue, find a spot that hides you from your guests and waiting groom.  Stand there and take deep breaths.  You will see your man standing there, waiting for you - a special moment.  
If you're both walking 'down the aisle' together - sit and hold hands for a moment.

Ceremonial Collective Deep Breath
Ask your celebrant to include a moment in the ceremony when everyone (guests included) stop for a moment and take five collective deep breaths - quietly breath, listen and be quiet for a minute.
It can be a powerful moment.

Post Ceremony Walk
After the ceremony and before the photo shoot begins, take a 15 minute walk together.  Here in Hervey Bay, many couples have their ceremony close to the beach.  What could be better than a quick walk on the beach, holding hands and realising that you've just got married?
Let your bridesmaids know what you intend to do, so they can explain to your guests.  Your family and friends will all want to congratulate you.  I've noticed that they tend to gather around and quite often the bride and groom get separated.

First Married Meal
So many couples forget to eat at their own reception.  There are guests to attend to plus a multitude of small decisions needing to be made.  Take time to eat together.  Have your bridal party guard you from well meaning intruders.

Transition Moments
Regardless of how you structure your wedding day, there are going to be transition moments:  in between getting prepared and doing photos, in between the photos and the ceremony starting, after eating but before dancing.  Ask your bridal party or a special family member to remind you during these transition moments to step aside and take a couple of moments to breathe.  
These will be the moments that your brain fixes in your memory.  

Have a wonderful Wedding Day and make fabulous memories.
 . . .  Lena.  


 

Your day has arrived!  At times it felt like it would never happen, it seemed so far away and your life consisted of planning, organising people and vendors, crafting clever decorations and the occasional meltdown when it all got too much to handle.  (hopefully Bridesmaids came to the rescue with wine and chocolates, a shoulder to cry on and gave you space and time to vent).
After all this time and hard work, everything is prepared and you're ready to tackle anything the day will throw at you.  
Your Wedding Day will go by so fast - it will zoom by - and before you know it, your guests are tearfully farewelling you and you're off on your honeymoon or whatever you have planned for the next stage of your marital journey.
Here are a few tips to help you enjoy your own Wedding Day - to help you remember your own Wedding Day.

THE NIGHT BEFORE
1.  If you are having a rehearsal dinner or family gathering the night before - don't get drunk!  Say 'nope' to that shot offered by your cheering cousins.  Trust me, you'll feel better the next day.

ESCAPE PLAN
2.  For the family gathering the night before your Wedding Day.  It's so easy to keep chatting or partying with friends or family you haven't seen for awhile.  BUT . .  you need your beauty sleep.  Organise someone to remind you of the time so you can politely exit.  No puffy eyes or headache the next day.    After all, it's rather an important day.

WAKE UP EARLY.  ENJOY THE MORNING.
3.  Do something un-wedding like with your bridal party and perhaps your Mum.  Go for a walk on the beach, a bush walk, an early morning coffee at your favourite little coffee shop - anything that will ground you and take your mind off the frenzy of the wedding planning.  

SPEAK UP
4.  This one is simple, short and sweet.  If you don't like your hair or make-up - say something!  If, during the day, you want a photo of a special moment - ask your photographer!  Make sure you are communicating with everybody, to make your day as perfect as it should be.  The last thing you want is to look back later and think ,"If only I had . . . . . . ."

JUST DANCE.
5.  Yes, you have to do the rounds and greet everyone,  chat with friends who have travelled long distances to be there,  talk to Great-Aunt Mabel about her bunions,  appease other family members who think they're at the wrong table and generally make yourself available to all and sundry who want your attention.  But, there comes a point when you need to make time for each other.  Head for the dance floor. Dance as if no one is watching - as they say.  Enjoy your own wedding day.

IT'S ALL GOOD
6.  Things will go wrong.  Take a moment right now, to accept this, and move on.  Any number of things can happen - the music could get messed up, food could be late, speeches done out of order and cousin Suzi's youngest could throw up in the middle of the dance floor.
It's important to remember that the day is bigger than all of this.  It's about your marriage and really, all the other stuff is just details.  Let it flow.

STOP TO TAKE IT ALL IN
7.  This is a very important one.  Remember to pause and take it all in.
It all goes by so fast, and before you know it, you're looking at photos of the day and thinking - "What just happened!"
Stay in the moment and truly enjoy your day and make wonderful memories.

While it may feel like cruel and unusual punishment for several women to show up to the same event expected to wear the same dress -- not only in the same color but in the same style -- there's a reason behind the tradition. Or, at least, there's a superstition that started this whole matching thing.

If you've never been able to reuse a bridesmaid dress, you're not alone, but the wedding tradition didn't take hold to make you look bad (and the bride even better). Really. Instead of blaming the bride, blame the Romans. Because of Roman superstition, Roman law required 10 wedding guests to dress similarly to the bride and groom (groomsmen, your matching tuxes also fit here) for good luck -- the matching outfits were thought to confuse any evil spirits who might want to curse the couple [source: Gordon].
(How Stuff Works.)

Well, we certainly don't want any 'evil spirits' at our weddings do we?

Naturally today, there are many reasons we have bridesmaids - 
- you might want your bestie there, because you've shared so much together already, and it wouldn't seem the same without her.
- you need help with the decorations and it's much more fun doing it with friends - turn it into a party!
- you want to include members of your family and your 'new' family, to honour them on your special day.
- a procession preceding you 'down the aisle', announces your arrival.
- you might have tasks for them at the Reception.

These are just a few I thought of - what were your main reasons for having Bridesmaids?

 . . . . Lena.


Princess Grace had a lot of Bridesmaids.  I'm sure the hats would have been fashionable then.  

Yes, I know, there are tips, lists, advice and sometimes even warnings all over the internet, to confuse  and fluster you, but this list from a web site called Wedding Party, written by Kaitlin Perata may just be helpful, so here goes.. . . . Lena.

1. GET A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP.
Resist the urge to stay up all night tending to last minute details and get to bed early. A full night of sleep can do wonders, and will leave you feeling refreshed come the next morning.

2. EAT A HEALTHY BREAKFAST.
You know what they say–breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, your wedding day is no exception. A nutritious breakfast high in protein and good carbs will give you the energy you need to keep you running all day long.



3. ALLOW YOURSELF ENOUGH TIME TO GET READY.
Anticipate and plan for things going wrong or taking more time than expected. Allow yourself plenty of time to add the finishing touches–your well-being depends on it.

4. MAKE A CHECKLIST.
Both the bride and the groom should make a list of everything that needs to be done the morning of the wedding. Lists are the easiest way to stay organized and will prevent you from forgetting even the little things.

5. PACK A WEDDING DAY SURVIVAL KIT.
This includes Tide To Go, a first aid kit, tampons, a sewing kit, a pocket mirror, and anything else you might need to prevent little wedding day disasters.

6. PUT DOWN THE PHONE.
It’s your wedding day. Your phone can wait.

7. STEP BACK AND OBSERVE.
As the bride, you will be the center of attention and your wedding day will be non stop action. But take a moment to pause, step back and take it all in. These are the kinds of moments you’ll want to stick with you forever.

8. PACK ALTERNATIVE SHOES.
Every woman who has ever worn a pair of heels knows they are the opposite of comfortable. Save your soles–and your soul–by packing a pair of comfy flats or flip flops for after the ceremony.

9. REMEMBER YOUR PARENTS.
It’s easy to get caught up in wedding day festivities. Make time for your parents. They’re the most important guests that will be attending your wedding.

10. DANCE!
As Lee Ann Womack sings, “I hope you dance.” It’s your wedding day. There’s no excuses. Go celebrate—you deserve it!

11. REMEMBER WHY YOU’RE THERE.
In the midst of all the fun and celebration, take a moment with your new spouse and remember what brought the two of you together. At the end of the day, your wedding is about your union and eternal love and commitment to one another. Don’t forget it.

Can you think of any more?  If you have already had your Wedding, what advice would you offer to a Bride on her special day?
 . . . .Lena.

Do you want to pop the question  -  'will you marry me?'

Here is a unique, gentle way for you to show your interest in getting an answer from your loved one.
READ MORE on our ASKACELEBRANT BLOG:
http://www.celebrants.org.au/ask-a-cele ... surprises-


The Ask a Celebrant site suggests this for Valentines Day, but I suggest it could be used at any time.  Good luck!

I'd love to hear from you if you used this idea.

 . . . Lena

So much time and planning goes in to getting the details of the reception 'just right,' and for a lot of people the ceremony slides way down the to-do list.
I can't stress enough that you should book your Celebrant at the same time as your reception venue.
The popular months for weddings, April, May, September, October and November get booked out fast and if you have your heart set on a particular Celebrant, you might be disappointed if you leave it too long. 
(Please fill out the form on the 'Contact Lena' page to check my availability on your preferred date).  Thanks.
 But if you want to have a ceremony that isn't just stock-standard, and really reflects who the two of you are together, you (and your guests) will remember it forever.  I will work with you to create a ceremony that is a true reflection of you.  

Things to think about:

Who do you want involved?
There are plenty of different ways to include people who are special to you. You can get them to do a reading or make up something of their own to read to you. If you'd like a way for the Mums of the bride and groom to be involved, a nice touch is to have a Ring Warming Ceremony.  I find this is a great way to involve children too.  They get to hear their names read out and to stand in front of the guests.  It makes them feel very important and loved.  Wonderful photo opportunity too. 

Readings. 
While we're on the topic, readings don't necessarily have to be a poem. They can be anything from passages out of your favourite book, to song lyrics, or something written especially for the day.
I have plenty of material for you to choose from if you're having trouble finding something that's appropriate.  This is a lovely way to honour someone, by asking them to read at your ceremony.  If there is no one available, I am happy to read it for you.

Music. 
There are plenty of non-sucky wedding songs, so don't feel like you have to stick with something you've heard at weddings before. Got talented friends? Let them play a song to walk you down the aisle or while you're signing the wedding certificates. Bear in mind that different locations have different rules. Sometimes parks won't allow you to have amplified music and some churches can be strict on what music is played.
Music can be played in most council venues in Hervey Bay.  
I provide a PA system through which you can play your music.  Just copy your songs on to a CD, in MP3 format and I will do the rest.

Witnesses. 
You'll need two people to act as witnesses and sign the marriage certificates with you. They can be anyone you like, as long as they are over 18 years old. It can be brothers and sisters, best friends, parents or even grandparents.

Wedding vows. 
You might love traditional wedding vows or you might want to make it more personal. I will be able to tell you the minimum legal requirement and help you build it from there. Or you can get Googling - there's loads of examples on the internet of different types of wedding vows. 
I have a multitude of ceremonies for you to choose from.  Once I get to know you and how you interact with each other, I can help you write your vows so that when your family and guests hear you make your vows to each other, the words and sentiments will sound natural and match your personalities.
Once you've chosen your vows, make sure you've read them enough so that you're familiar with them but don't worry about trying to learn them off by heart - there's no way you'll remember it in the excitement and nerves of the actual day. You can either print them on cards to read, or I can feed you the words phrase by phrase.

Who stands where. 
In a church wedding, you spend a large chunk of time with your backs towards your guests, and standing on opposite sides of the aisle. In a civil ceremony there's no rules about where you have to stand. You can enjoy every moment of the ceremony together if you stand next to each other, facing the guests. That way you can hold hands, make small comments to each other, and your guests get to see your faces!

Location. 
Hope for the best, plan for the worst. Hopefully you won't need it, but always, always make sure you have a wet weather option. And have a plan in place so if it is raining on the day, you're not the one getting the phone calls - print the back-up location on your invitations, or provide a nominated person's number to take phone calls and questions on the day.
If you're getting married in a park or on the beach, don't forget to get the relevant permission from the Fraser Coast Council. There is a small charge for this, but the venue you choose will be yours to use for that time.  You will receive a letter from them stating the time and place.  I always like to take a copy of this with me on the day - just in case.  

Time. 
Fashionably late is a myth. Especially if your guests are standing outside in the hot sun with their make up melting!

Kids. 
If you're having kids at the ceremony, or involved in the ceremony, there is absolutely no way to predict or guarantee what they will do on the day. The number one rule is: don't stress if it doesn't go according to plan. Sometimes the cutest things that happen during ceremonies are when kids do things their own way. A good tip for kid-wrangling though is to have a picnic blanket set up right at the front for all of the kids to sit on, and give them a lollipop or bag of lollies each. Sure, they'll hit a sugar high eventually but at least they'll be more likely to be quiet during the ceremony itself.


Thanks to I-do.com.au for some of the above information.

Just recently on another blog I was reading, they were discussing the high costs of weddings in Australia.  But what about the costs for guests and bridesmaids?  Are weddings becoming too expensive for them too?  I think they are and it's all getting a bit out of hand.  What do you think?  If you have discovered Pinterest, as I have, you probably have your own wedding boards.  Sometimes I think that it doesn't matter how much you spend or how much time you spend doing DIY projects, you never seem to achieve the perfection you see on some of those wedding boards.  Are we beginning to expect too much from the bridesmaids - the dress, hair, make-up, nails, hens party, travelling or time off work - it all adds up and your invitation to your best friends to be in your bridal party may not be met with the enthusiasm you would expect.  
I think this comment from Bethany B. sums it up quite well.
I would love to hear your thoughts on how wedding expenses impacted you as a guest or a bridesmaid.
. . . .  Lena.  

' I was in four weddings before I became a bride. Nothing was more disheartening then flushing over $100 down the toilet for a dress I would wear once (let’s face it, nobody is going to take up the dress and wear it again). The last wedding I was in, the bride was gracious enough to allow us to wear dresses we picked out, but finding dresses in the right color scheme was the next challenge… then we we add cost of shower gifts, bachelorette party, getting nails done, etc etc. Wedding are expensive, but they don’t have to be…
I see a huge problem with the way we look at weddings today. We create our “dream” wedding from things we see in bridal magazines and now my love/hate resource, Pinterest. Instead of a wedding being about a blessed covenant of love between a man and a woman, we make it about style (my friend recently bragging about her designer dress which she later regret because it “wasn’t her”), themes, impressing people with your amazing decorations, perfect flowers, fashionable cakes, etc. The best advice I ever read about planning your wedding on a budget was to close the magazines and just have the wedding you want and not what other’s tell you to have.

When it came time for my mom and I to plan my wedding, our theme was simplicity and “beg, steal, borrow”. Our biggest cost were chair/table rentals and food, but we still manage to pull off a +200 guest wedding at our family farm for less than $6,000. We grew our own flowers, used what we had and what we could borrow from friends. We were minimalist in the planning (except for when my mom went crazy with the twinkle lights, but hey, she reused them at Christmas). Looking back at our wedding day, the things that I loved most didn’t have a pricetag, it was my husband and I celebrating our love among our very best friends and family. The most beautiful memory was not the flowers, decorations or fancy cakes…. it was when we congregationally sang a blessing over our marriage… not payed instrumentation, just beautiful, raw, God-given voices raised together in beautiful harmony. Money can’t buy that.

And money certainly can’t buy that happiness I felt on that day because it wasn’t about a certain look or theme. I think that is what makes a Bridezilla too! She has an idea of a wedding she wants and when she can’t have it, no matter how much money she spends, she makes everyone miserable!

And for what? Divorce is so prevalent today! I remember listening to a young woman going on and on about how beautiful and wonderful and perfect every detail of her wedding was. Then I looked at her hands. No wedding band or engagement ring. Then she made a ugly remark about her ex husband and shared her wild plans for her evening at the bar to find a new man. Tragic. Now her $1000 wedding dress that she once treasured is stained with bitterness.'

I think this comment from Deborah Roffey, Marriage Celebrant in Mentone East, says it all - 

'The High Court in Canberra have just delivered their verdict regarding same-sex marriages in ACT. 

Sadly, they have ruled against the ACT: "Today the High Court decided unanimously that the Marriage Equality (Same Sex) Act 2013, enacted by the Legislative Assembly for the Australian Capital Territory, cannot operate concurrently with the federal Marriage Act
1961."

ABC's report is here: http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-12-12/h ... ws/5152168

This decision will result in the annulment of the 27 same-sex marriages which have occurred since the weekend.

It appears the ACT case had very little strength, so was unlikely to succeed. Future attempts to change the law will need to have good grounds and a much stronger case to proceed.

Lets hope that this unfortunate decision will encourage and spur on all the States and Territories, as well as all Federal politicians, to work together to form new legislation which will accept change and the will of the people, to legalise same-sex marriages.' 

My thoughts are with the couples whose happiness was short-lived. 
Deborah Roffey

What are your thoughts on this 'problem'.  I feel that it's only a 'problem' because the federal government is making it one. 
It's easily solved._. . . . Lena.___________________

This weekend saw the first ever legal same sex marriages in Australia.